This last week I was reminded why diversity matters, especially for a family like ours.
We were driving home from a family reunion in Alabama. We stopped at a Sheetz gas station in southern Virginia for a quick dinner. If you've been to a Sheetz it's better than your average gas station food and more like a fast food place. They had some nice little outdoor tables with umbrellas. It was a beautiful evening so we ate outside.
At the table next to us there was a caucasian family with two young children. As we sat there and ate our dinner a little old lady walked by and said to the other family, "you have such beautiful children!" Their table and our table were very close to each other and she had to walk right by us as well. She looked at us, paused, and walked by without saying a word. We even smiled at her and she avoided eye contact. "That was interesting," said Keith.
The way we were sitting she could only see the back of Noah and Allison's heads. She had a perfect view of me and Keith with Autumn sitting on his lap. Perhaps she didn't consider Chinese children to be beautiful. Or maybe, she didn't know what to say because it was something she had never seen before. Maybe she was trying to figure out why we couldn't find any white kids to adopt. There I go assuming negative thought bubbles.
It didn't really offend me and we actually laughed about it afterward. It reminded me to be grateful to live where we live. There's enough diversity in the Baltimore/DC suburbs that, most of the time, people don't behave that way. I imagine that if we lived in the deep south that Autumn would always struggle to fit in.
For a transracial adoptee, it's extremely important to feel accepted by your community as well as by your family.
All my kids are beautiful.
There might be other things she saw that made her remain silent. Your family is beautiful. Each child is of great worth and each is beautiful or handsome, as the case may be. We love you all, everyone.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there are any number of things she could have been thinking. It was most likely not even an intentional snub. It just got me thinking about diversity because there wasn't too much of it in that area. We love you too, mom.
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