Winning and losing

Noah's basketball team won the league championship tonight. This was his face afterwards.

I tried everything I could to get a real smile out of him but he couldn't really muster it. You'd think a 9 year old kid winning his OWN giant trophy would be ecstatic. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't feel like he took part in the victory. He only played 3 minutes the entire game and barely touched the ball. His coach barely looked at him after the game.

The first day of practice the coach placed three trophies in the middle of the floor. He told his team that he was there to win his fourth consecutive league championship. He said anyone that didn't take it seriously would not play very much or would get moved to a different team.

Nobody takes basketball more seriously than Noah.

The season was intense, to say the least. The coach yelled at the kids A LOT. He punished them with push ups if they made mistakes. He spoke over Noah's head and Noah often couldn't understand him because he would talk really fast. It was very frustrating. Once, they defeated a team by 30 points and the coach yelled at them because, "they should have won by 60." Nothing was ever good enough for this coach.

Noah is a gentle soul. He's also very sensitive. He would sometimes come home from practice crying. His dad and I offered comfort and guidance but we did not let him quit, even though he wanted to. The fact is that he's going to have a lot of different types of coaches in his life and he needs to learn how to work with all of them if we wants to reach his goals.

The season got better. Noah figured out how to make the coach happy. He started getting more playing time and scoring points during games. He seemed to finally enjoy playing on the team. Then the coach announced that he was assembling a travel team. He invited Noah to join. Noah declined and the coach benched him.

As I watched the team warm up for the championship game I noticed one of the captains was constantly yelling at Noah. It was like she had a problem with him. At one point he bounced the ball off his foot and she yelled, "that's what you get for trying to show off Noah!" (For the record, he wasn't doing anything fancy.) Most of the players on this team are really nice but this girl really doesn't seem to like him for some reason. I felt angry that she was treating him that way and then I realized that she was simply following the example set by her COACH. I don't blame her, I blame the coach who set that example.

In contrast, last year Noah played on a different team that worked together and treated each other with respect. He had a coach who was kind and valued every single player on the team. They became the team with the best record in the league but lost the championship game by one point. He walked out of that game with the second place plaque and a huge smile on his face. They were winners because of what they accomplished together.

Noah learned that a happy second place is better than a miserable victory. Sometimes the cost of winning is too high.

Then I thought of Donald Trump. (Yep, you thought this post was about something else didn't you?) He has behaved like a bully. He has belittled and insulted people all in the name of winning. This is the example that he is setting for Americans. This is the kind of behavior that many of his supporters are already emulating, just like that 10 year old team captain did to Noah. It doesn't really matter if President Trump is a better person than candidate Trump. The damage is done. He was asked in an interview recently if he regrets any of the things he said during the campaign. His response, "No, I won."

Noah's team won the championship. But Noah lost.

Donald Trump won the election. But America lost. They just don't know it yet.